That Night.
by laura10
Summary: Abby's involved in an accident.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of these people unfortunately.  
  
Spoilers: I don't think so, but its set during season 8 so there might be some hints.  
  
  
  
That Night.  
  
~  
  
Abby sat up suddenly, dazed and confused. It was so dark, she could barely see her hands, the dark blanket of night wrapped suffocatingly around her. She clutched the covers around her for support, steadying her breath.  
  
"Abby, shhhh" the familiar voice said breaking the deafening silence.  
  
"where am I?" she gasped, her heart was pounding rapidly against her chest..  
  
"you're in the hospital, shhh, go back to sleep" Carter replied softly, his voice full of sleep.  
  
"Carter, what...." her voice trailed off as despair washed over.  
  
Carter's soft voice spoke to her as he reached out for her hand. "shh, its ok. go back to sleep."  
  
His soothing voice was the last thing she heard as she felt herself drift back into the blissful oblivion.  
  
~  
  
The light hurt her eyes as she gradually awoke from the deep sleep, she blinked several times against the intense brightness, struggling to sit up.  
  
"It's ok, you're in the hospital, do you remember what happened?" Carter spoke quietly, squeezing her hand softly.  
  
"I-I don't...." she began, she felt the lump rise in her throat and whimpered.  
  
She turned to face him, his tired features coming into focus. She noticed his bloodshot eyes rimmed with dark circles against his pale unshaven face.  
  
"Abby, you were in a car accident" he told her gently.  
  
It all came flooding back, the salty tears slipped silently down her face.  
  
"I remember" she said softly, "how long have I been in here?".  
  
"You've been drifting in and out of consciouseness for about a week." he replied, he leaned in close to her face.  
  
"Carter I....." she began but stopped herself, her left hand reached for her face, feeling the bandage there, and gasped in bewilderment.  
  
"You have a few cuts and bruises, but you're ok now." he said nodding his head then added sadly "at first we th......I thought I was going to lose you Abby."  
  
The horror of that night unfolded itself, she could still hear the crunch of metal and the heavy tap-tapping of the rain.  
  
"was...was anyone else hurt" she asked him, she was suprised at the clarity in her voice, a contrast to the unbearable sorrow that ached her heart.  
  
"no, the rain must have caused you to swerve" he said.  
  
She paused to catch her breath.  
  
"Abby, your blood-alcohol level was high" he finally told her.  
  
She could hear the pain in his voice, it broke her heart.  
  
She closed her eyes and fell back onto the soft, white pillows, she wanted to go to sleep and never wake up, to escape this nausiating pain.  
  
"I'm sorry" was all she could say through the sobs that had engulfed her.  
  
She felt his hand gently stroking her head, his soothing voice telling her everything would be ok.  
  
She wanted more than anything to believe him.  
  
~  
  
Abby stared at herself in the mirror, she could not recognise the person staring back. Her face was pale and her dark hair hung limply around her shoulders, she had cuts along her right cheek and a bandage around her head.  
  
She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to block out the painful memories of that night, but they were there as clear as day, slow and agonizing.  
  
She opened her eyes again, the unfamiliar person was still gazing sadly back at her.  
  
What happened to me? she asked herself, where did I go wrong.  
  
She made her way back into her room, limping painfully on her ankle. The white-tiled hospital room was brightened by the flowers and cards sent from the ER staff, their kindness saddned her more. She didn't deserve it.  
  
A nurse came in startling her.  
  
"Good morning Abby" she smiled an almost fake smile "Dr.Carter's just gone for coffee...he's hardly left your side this week. Be careful on the ankle, you've twisted it pretty badly"  
  
Abby looked down at the floor, resisting the urge to cry and scream out. She climbed back into the warm bed as the nurse ran the routine checks.  
  
"Is there anything I can get for you?" she asked.  
  
Abby shook her head in reply, it was too difficult to speak  
  
"A doctor will be with you shortly Abby, just try to relax" the nurse said sympathetically and left the room leaving Abby alone with her thoughts.  
  
She found herself thinking about that night again, there was still so much she didn't remember but yet she vividly remembered too much. She remembered sitting alone in that smoky bar staring blankly into her glass, she remembered the drive home through the heavy pounding of the rain, she remembered the screams and the flashing lights of the ambulance, then blackness shrouding her, pulling her away from reality. She remembered the voices of people she cared about calling her name. Thinking of this made her heart ache more than she could bear  
  
~  
  
The door opened and a tired looking Carter stepped in. She looked at him with a pained expression.  
  
"They are all asking about you downstaires. They want to come and see you soon" he told her mustering up a smile.  
  
"what did you tell them?" she asked him with a sigh.  
  
"that you were ok but to give you a couple of days"  
  
"thankyou"  
  
"well I knew that you'd want...."  
  
"I mean about everything John, for staying here with me....." she felt her voice trail off.  
  
"Abby, we really need to talk about that night" he said, taking a seat beside her on the bed with a serious expression on his face.  
  
"I know" she barely whispered, it was all she could say.  
  
"Why did you drive home?" he asked her.  
  
"I-I don't know, I didn't think I was over the limit, I only had about 2 drinks" she replied, she couldn't bear to look him in the eyes.  
  
"how long have you been drinking again?" he finally asked her taking a deep breath.  
  
"Carter....I don't..I can't talk about this right now" she said trying to suppress the sobs.  
  
"ok, ok" he said soothingly.  
  
They both sat there in awkward silence.  
  
"you look tired" she said breathing in deeply trying to compose herself..  
  
"I'm ok" he replied.  
  
"you should go home and get some sleep," she said then added "the nurse told me you've been here all week"  
  
"huh huh....I wanted to be here when you woke up" he reached for her hand and squeezed it gently.  
  
"well i'm awake now, and i'm ok. Go home and rest" she said.  
  
"I'd rather stay here with you" he said quietly.  
  
"you don't have to worry about me John, i'm not going anywhere"  
  
He flashed her a smile and stood up "actually you are, we can go for a walk along by the lake, in your wheelchair of course...if you want"  
  
"That would be great, its better than being cooped up in here all day. I need a shower though first, my hair is just one big mess."she said as she ran her hand through her matted hair.  
  
"huh huh, I'll go get the nurse." he replied beginning to stand up.  
  
"no its ok, the shower's just in there, I can go by myself" she said defiantly pointing to the bathroom.  
  
Carter looked unsure but said reluctantly. "ok, but be careful"  
  
"Its only the shower Carter" Abby smiled and rolled her eyes.  
  
She left him alone in her room, she could still see the heartbreaking look of dissapointment and pain in his face. She knew she was hurting the people she loved, thats why she could never tell him the truth, the awful thruth of that night, that she had meant to swerve into the tree and roll down the bank. The truth that she had tried but failed to commit suicide. No, she could never tell him that.  
  
~  
  
Abby smiled as she felt the soft, soothing breeze flow through her hair and caresse her cheeks as she rested her head back in the chair.  
  
"how does it feel to have a willing slave?" Carter asked her from above, gently pushing her.  
  
"I could get used to it" she said grinning.  
  
"well don't. The doctor said you'll be back on your feet in no time" he replied also grinning.  
  
"Did he say when I can go home?" she asked.  
  
"soon." was all he said.  
  
They carried on in contented silence, the warm sun was beating down reflecting off the lake. She heard him take a deep breath and sigh.  
  
"We have to go to an AA meeting when your out" he said hesitantly.  
  
She nodded her head and felt the lump rise in her throat.  
  
"you will get through this Abby, i'll be here with you" he placed his hand gently on her shoulder, she shivered at the touch, it was so soft and warm.  
  
She nodded her head again and said quietly "I'm sorry".  
  
She was sorry, more than he could ever know. She was sorry that she had started drinking again, she was sorry that she had tried to kill herself and she was sorry that she had failed. But most of all she was sorry that she had hurt him.  
  
She heard him take a deep breath. "No, Abby i'm sorry. I'm sorry that you felt you couldn't turn to me."  
  
He stopped the wheel chair by the bench, sitting down he turned to face her.  
  
"Don't be sorry, I have no one to blame but myself." she said sadly.  
  
Abby felt suddenly weak and sank back into her chair.  
  
"please talk to me Abby, tell me why you started drinking again." his dark brown eyes looked almost pleadingly at her.  
  
"It was everything" was all she replied.  
  
~  
  
continue? 


End file.
